brittany(:


Entries | Tagboard | Profile


I absolutely love....
Monday, December 20 at 9:51:00 PM


gifts that have thought. I don't care if you spend $900 bucks on a house in Kansas with some shitty ass soil. I want something that you put thought into. Erick, for my birthday last year bought me a candy bar the day before, a candy necklace, and made me his girlfriend. Eventually, I accumulated a shirt, a bear/dog thing.. I'm not sure what it is..., and some other shit. When we broke up, I ate the chocolate since I had been saving it in the fridge. Sitting behind me is the candy necklace since I love him, but HATE HATE HATE candy necklaces, and in my lap is Beardog. I keep shit like that. Boo's giving me his iPod case. How amazingly cute is that. I have my iPod with me 24/7. I can have him with me 24/7. Big gifts don't impress me. It's the little homemade/thoughtful gifts that impact me. I love things that are memorable.






First thing's first.
Thursday, December 2 at 9:22:00 PM


I FORGIVE YOU.
Everyone who has ever done me wrong.






I worry way too much.
5:20:00 PM


He really wasn't mad at me.
Great.
Now everyone hates him, I feel like a bitch, and I don't know what to do.
Confused.
Very.






Do you know what get's me hot?
Wednesday, December 1 at 6:52:00 PM


When bitches completely break you down by saying the harshest words to you about situations that hurt the most in your life and they know all good and well, then 9 months later, they go and say how they support a website that helps people that are just like you. Fucking ironic huh? That dick... I still haven't gotten over how much of an asshole he is in all honesty.
On to the next one? Hm, I don't even have a reason as to why the fuck you gave up on me, but that's cool. At least I was prepared. Did you move back to your ex? Probably. People tend to do that. Honestly, I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. Is there really a guy out there for me? I've lost count of how many times I've been lied to, led on, rejected, insulted, let down, and hurt this year. It sucks. It truly does. I'm always being taken advantage of. But whatever. I wish Christmas break would come sooner. I want my presents, my hot chocolate, my food, and sleep. Being kissed under the mistletoe doesn't sound too bad either. Probably over break, I'll just chill with some people who I can actually tolerate. I don't have any desire to be with people really. That's the cold, hard truth. I've lost all my motivation. I feel like I've lost meaning. I feel like I'm just.. here.

***

How's my day? I've been going pee all damn day. I have a Urinary Tract Infection I believe. It hurts. So. Fucking. Bad. No lies, I'm crying. I need to go to the doctor -___- I'm tired of going pee ever 3 minutes.

***

Writing is sort of my outlet. I write when I'm worried or confused or upset. I write when I'm in a good mood or something worth writing about happens. It gets all of my emotions out. I feel like I can start over. Clean. Something that I want to do oh so badly. Music is my escape. It lets me vanish and clear my head. I think about how the music relates to my mood and I also analyze it's time signature, the types of notes it's made of, and all that fun shit you learn in music theory. Almost every song on my iPod has lyrics written. I can't comprehend music lyrics unless I read along with the song. I scream to recover. I'll scream whatever I have to say to a person or what's bothering me, or whatever. Sometimes to a pillow, a wall, a person, outside, or if I'm home alone, out loud in my house.

***

Did you learn anything new? You probably have......
That's me poured out to you tonight.






How am I feeling?
Monday, November 29 at 6:16:00 PM


Oh what a WONDERFUL question.
lost
heartbroken
confused
upset
pissed off
melancholy
angsty

Do we get the picture? I'm not sure if I was supposed to take offence to that, but I really did. Being asked to leave someone so precious to you alone hurts. I hate seeing him like this, but I have to respect his wishes. He was in a bad mood. I asked what was wrong. He asked to be left alone. Cool beans. I can't help but feel like I did something wrong. Did he change his mind? Did I do something? Am I just that much of a turnoff? Who knows. I could confront him, but I'm waiting for him. I may have just lost one of my closet friends. FML? I think yes.